Updated: Sep 1
There's no harsher detractor than an inner pessimistic voice. Every negative comment directed towards us early in our lives end up as part of our thought mechanism. When we are always told that we're not good enough, or not capable, it becomes part of our inner discourse. Those messages can be troublesome to banish or reframe, but it's not impossible.
A pessimistic inner voice is a self-destructive current of thinking inside our minds that always seeks to undercut our happiness and ruin our chances of success. It's not our real thoughts, just a sad reflection of our worst fears. The good news is an abusive, pessimistic inner voice can be detained. Our positive self-talk can become a transformational. It won't happen overnight, and it will take some work, but it can happen. Always remember, your pessimistic inner voice is not being factual.
It's not congruent with reality at all, and there are many ways to keep that voice at bay.
Consider the following these 6 steps on your path to disregard that pessimistic inner voice.
1. Develop an awareness of your internal dialogue. Some people have pessimistic thoughts running through their mind all day, every day. That voice can lead to having a poor self-image, our low self-esteem. When you feel depressed over something, pay attention to your thoughts. Are they on the negative or positive side of the scale?
2. Let past decisions go. Stop beating yourself up over wrong decisions, failures, or embarrassments. There's no use in ruminating over things that didn't go right. Sometimes people think that by replaying what went wrong over and over, they can somehow learn not to make that mistake again. In reality, you made your decision based on where you were mentally at that time.
3. Be kind to yourself. Ask yourself if you'd speak to a dear friend in the same way your negative inner voice speaks to you. Would you tell someone you loved
"You can't do nothing right," or "Why
bother? you're an idiot." Of course not, we don't talk that way to people we value, but we tear ourselves down with these appalling statements every day. Create a positive affirmations so the kindness you give others can be reciprocated to yourself.
4. Confront your negative inner voice's fabrications with facts. The negative inner voice always exaggerates. For example, a negative inner voice who tells you that you're weak can be countered with your writing or saying to yourself, "I know I've had weak moments, but I am strong and I can get through anything I set my mind to."
5. Consider what's the worst thing that could happen. If your inner voice is saying that you're going to foul-up a vital presentation and lose your job, redirect that scary exaggeration. Consider: even if you did get fired, you're bound to find another job. Make sure to give your pessimistic inner voice a reality check.
6. Don't do what your cynical inner voice tells you! It's going to tell you to give up, or quit your job; it may even say kill yourself. That voice can be that terribly harsh. Show yourself compassion and believe in your abilities, you know who you really are deep inside. The goals you want to achieve, the fantastic outcomes you deserve in life, those are what you need to focus your mind on.
Finally, practice healthy self-talk. When your pessimistic inner voice gets going, tell yourself that the fear is just a natural emotion and not you the person. It's ok if you are afraid sometimes because you're human, and everyone will have a moment when they'll get scared sooner or later.
However, that fear doesn't define who you are, and it will not stop you.
When it comes to your pessimistic inner voice trying to scare you into immobility, remember that it's ok to be scared. Repeat your mantra or positive affirmations daily, and keep pushing forward fiercely with your life!